Personal History
I grew up in northern Michigan and always felt a little out of place. In high school, I discovered that doing drugs and acting out made me feel cool. I thought I was having fun but, deep down, I was profoundly unhappy and didn’t even know it. My drug use came to a head about a year after graduation. Unable to sleep, thinking of suicide, and fearing I was losing my mind, I finally broke down and told my mom what was really going on. She helped me find a therapist, and my journey of recovery began.
I was scheduled to see this guy named Mike. I figured he would give me some pills and I could get back to partying. I went to those first few sessions pissed off and defensive. “Fuck this guy,” I thought. But, Mike knew better: He could see how lonely I felt and how terrible my self-esteem was. So, rather than argue with me or give me pills, he asked me about my problems and showed interest in me. As therapy unfolded and I began to open up and feel better, I remember thinking: “Maybe I could do this someday, too.”
Professional Philosophy
My experiences as a struggling young man shaped my path as a clinical psychologist: I don’t believe in mental illness and I’ve never met a crazy person. That is to say, no one comes to therapy because “life was too awesome,” as experienced by them.
So, I tested my theory by working with the most difficult cases I could find: I figured if Mike could get through to me, maybe I could get through to others, too. Early on, I worked at in-patient psychiatric hospitals (about 4 years total) and then I worked at VA hospitals (about 13 years total). Through those experiences, I learned that at the heart of each person’s problem was some unaddressed painful experience: Sometimes it was obvious—e.g., sexual assault, combat, or childhood abuse—and other times it was subtle—e.g., being a parentified child, feeling invisible, etc.
But, no matter how big or small it was, if I could help people look at their deepest thoughts and feelings, we would find the connections between their current problem and their past and present experiences. Like a thorn left in the foot forcing us to favor one side, if our deepest pains go unhealed they change us. And yet, it’s never too late: When we can bring them to the surface and come to terms with them, we reshape our lives.
I use a model of psychodynamic therapy that integrates interpersonal, experiential, and humanistic/existential theories as well as the neuroscience of memory reconsolidation and EMDR. I use a functional paradigm: I want to address the root causes of a problem and fix them, not just relieve the symptoms. But, leave the science to me: The most important thing for you to know is that we will tailor your therapy to you.
Finally, I think it’s important for clients to know what therapy with me “looks like.” I’m a down-to-earth person and want therapy to have a warm, normal, conversational tone with equal doses of crying, laughing, and swearing. You should feel safe enough to cry your heart out while trusting I will tell you what you need to hear, even if it’s tough. A client once said, “I like you because you don’t beat around the bush or use any psychobabble horseshit.” I think she summed me up pretty good. I mean, if you can’t trust your therapist to give it to you straight, who can you trust?
I don’t believe anyone is a “lost cause”: Everyone can get better. I was once in a tough spot and someone got through to me, thank God. I believe everyone can be got through to, it’s just a matter of finding the right therapist to do it. Call me and to see if I’m the right one for you.